My Krazy & Frazzled Life

Ambien or Lunesta?

2008-01-22T01:02:00.000-08:00

Hey guys,
I did not do well with staying on track yesterday (Monday)
Why do I do this? I am so mad at myself right now. I do fine all day long, and then when it comes to the late evening I want to eat eat eat. I felt like I just got a handle on it the last 2 weeks. Well today is a new day and I WILL NOT stray off my menu today. I just can't.
It doesn't help that I can't sleep at night. I am usually up all night, I lay down about 5 - 6 am, sleep till about 11 am then I am up for the day and then it starts all over again. So doctor gave me Ambien to try - that did nothing. Then she gave me Lunesta and I was told that it "could" make me have a metallic taste in my mouth. Boy was that an UNDERSTATEMENT!! Within 10 mins of taking the pill I had that nasty taste in my mouth. I had it all night and all the next day. So the second night I thought I would put the little pill in a little bit of cheese and then swallow the cheese... thinking that the coating on the pill made it worse. WRONG!!
It did make me a me a little tired, BUT after the 3rd night I couldn't stand the taste another day!!! I had to stop. The taste is so bad it WILL make you want to stop taking it. I would rather stay up all night than take that nasty stuff! And drinking water, just made it worse. Has anyone else experienced this problem?
It takes a lot to make me tired. I take 6 benedryl a day for my allergies and even that doesn't make me tired.
My goal today is to go to the mall and do some walking. I haven't done any exercising or walking since this cold weather started, and my body can really tell!

Cold in Iowa!

2008-01-20T02:17:00.000-08:00

Man has it been cold these past few days! Right now it is -4.6 degrees!! Brrr!! My sister lives in Sweetwater, Tenn & sge said it was cold at 43 degrees! I will take her 43 over our -4.6 anytime!! She only moved there about 6 months ago from Iowa! LOL How easily the old is forgotten!
Well I weighed in at JC yesterday and I lost another 1.3 lbs. Woo Hoooo! I am was so happy because I had gained about 10 lbs since mid November from a medication I was put on. WELL I said bye bye to that med and got back on track with no hesitation!!
It's great having my daughter back home! She had a phone interview with the place she applied with yesterday and then on Monday she goes in to listen to a call simulator. I hope she gets hired, it will be so good for her, plus she needs the money so badly.
Well I am off to watch a few youtube videos!

She is home!

2008-01-15T03:12:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone, Kelsey got home safe this last Friday, Although it's kind of bitter sweet. I was so happy to see her and have her home, but so sad and heart broken that they are so far apart from each other. They are so much in love
She is still trying to get over the 8 hour time difference and jet lag!!
I weighed in last Saturday, lost 2.3 pounds, was pretty pleased with that especially after the last 2 weight-ins I had gained !!
I will try to post more later!!

A Pass Due Update!

2008-01-15T02:38:00.000-08:00

Wrote on Monday, January 7th 2008 11:23 PM

Well I guess I should make some kind of update. Sorry it has been so long. I have been in a deep depression, with increasing anxiety, so I just haven't felt like updating at all.
My daughter finally agreed to come home. The main reason... so she can get the medical care she needs here in the United States. She will be arriving Jan 11th. I can't even tell you how happy and excited this makes me! She will live with us till she gets on her feet. She will get a job and save the money to work towards bringing her husband here. She is happy to be coming home, but extremely sad because she has to leave her love behind. This will be one of the hardest things she will have to do. She has grown and matured so much since she left Aug 1st. I can't wait to see her! Her birds and our cat will also be so glad to see her!
Ok time for an update about my weight. *sigh* It's been a real struggle just to stay and maintain my weight, and I didn't know why! I haven't been exercising, so I thought that was it. A few more weeks pass and a few more pounds were added. And it finally hit me. I was put on a new medicine for depression and anxiety in November and then the dose was increased the middle of December. So I looked this medication up online. I found out it can cause weight gain! O_O I shouldn't be surprised, I had heard of antidepressants causing weight gain, but I told myself... it can't actually MAKE you gain weight, it just increases your appetite, you would just have to watch what you ate. Well that maybe true, but for me it not only increased my appetite, I was obsessing over food! I HAD to have it NOW!! So I called my doctor and she took me off of it and wants me to start a different one. I don't know what to do. I am already taking Wellbutrin, and it doesn't cause weight gain, but obviously, it wasn't doing the job by itself, so I am a little afraid of starting any other medications cause I don't want to gain anymore. When I started this new medicine in Nov I was 134 and when I weighed this morning I was 144! But on the other hand I want to feel good. Before this new medicine my anxiety was through the roof. Oh yeah, the medicine I was put on that I gained weight with was Remeron.
An update on my cat, Tuesday. So far she is holding her own. When her antibiotics run out... a week later she starts getting sick, doesn't eat a lot. So I just keep them on hand for her. I know the day will come when antibiotics will not help anymore. I will cross that bridge when I get to it. Kelsey is so afraid Tuesday will die before she gets home. With that I will leave you with this video of my beautiful baby. If you view it on my youtube page the images don't look so stretched out! Just double click on it. If you haven't already seen this please rate and make sure you leave Tuesday a comment!!

Heavy Heart...

2007-11-04T01:46:00.000-07:00

I talked to my daughter tonight. She is still not feeling good. She is starting to run a low grade temperature and again the pain is growing. She said she feels sick to her stomach and dizzy. I told her she needs to drink, because of the kidney infection and to help flush the kidney stones out. But she said she can't that it makes her sick. Her husband is away on a two day business trip for his work, he gets back tomorrow night.

When she was in the hospital the Doctor there told her she needs to come back to the United States to receive the urgent medical care she needs from her Urologist at the Mayo Clinic. She refuses! She won't come back home unless she can bring her husband with her. Well that isn't possible, because he is not a resident of the US. She can come back home and file for a Immigrant Visa for a Spouse but I have heard that there is a waiting list of 4-6 years, and that is not to say he will be approved to come here. And part of the requirement to file for a Immigrant Visa for a Spouse is she would need to show evidence of financial support, or if she couldn't she would have to have someone willing to sponsor him. Here is the thing. My daughter was born with a lot of physical disabilities, has been on SSI disability since she was 7 years old. So she has never worked. So for her to come back to home and work would be almost impossible. She has asked her dad and I if we would be willing to sponsor him. For me, my answer would be YES in a heart beat, but I am not working... for her dad, absolutely NOT. I am so torn... My daughter is mad and upset that no one will sign a Affidavits of support for him to come here. No one is willing, and I can understand that totally. But it makes me feel completely hopeless and I feel like a failure as a mother. I need to get my daughter back here so she can get the vial health care that she so desperately needs. I am afraid she will die over there before she gets back home. He wants to send her home, but she won't come without him.

I am going to call her urologist at the Mayo Clinic on Monday to fill him on everything that has been happening and what treatment she has received already. Maybe he can offer some kind of advise or maybe hopefully he will be willing to call the doctor that is treating her in Jordan. Problem is... the doctor in Jordan speaks very little english.

I am sorry if any of this doesn't make any sense.... I am just going out of my mind.... I am so worried about her, I can't sleep, I can't function. I am depressed. I don't know what I am going to do.

Pet Video Contest!

2007-10-31T21:50:00.000-07:00

I have entered my pets in a contest on youtube. (debcoart's pet video contest #7)

To see the videos I have entered into the contest click here.

http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=6A232D30091C3C8F

If you have a youtube account and would like to vote for one of my videos. Please go to this link:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V15BiTdvgxY

Then click where it says "Post a text comment" In the comments box, on debcoart's site type in your vote, include the name of the video and the youtube user name of the video your voting for. Hurry cause the contest deadline is Saturday Nov. 3rd, 2007 @ midnight EST

All details for entering and or voting are explained in debcoart's video labeled (pet video contest #7)

Thanks!!

Another Update...

2007-10-31T21:49:00.000-07:00

Wrote 10/31/2007 at 7:46 PM

The doctor came in to talk to Kelsey earlier today. He said he looked at the x-rays and said he didn't see stones in her bladder but there were defiantly stones in both kidneys. Her blood work actually was pretty good. Her urine had 12 + of blood in it. So for right now they are treating her as if she has a kidney infection, even though her blood work looked good. They are sending off her urine for a culture, which will be back in 2-3 days. He also said something about sending her home with a medication that will help desolve the stones. Has anyone heard of this before?Her pain is pretty much under control. And is not running a fever anymore.... so far. Generally fevers spike at night, so we shall see.She is to have scans again in a month to see if there is any improvement in the stones.

An update

2007-10-31T21:48:00.000-07:00

Wrote 10/31/2007 at 4:33 AM

I just got a call from Kelsey. They did ultra sounds of her kidneys and bladder and they told her she has bladder stones and kidney stones. GOD. She needs to be home where she can be seen by her own urologist at the Mayo Clinic.....

It's going to be a long night!

2007-10-31T21:46:00.000-07:00

Wrote 10/31/2007 at 2:05 AM

Yesterday I talked to my daughter online, she told me she was having pains on her right side above the hip. She thought it was probably gas and shrugged it off. Then I talked to her online this afternoon and the pain was a little worse, so she took pain reliever and told me if it didn't get any better she would go to the doctor the next day. She didn't feel like she running a temperature at that time, but she didn't have a thermometer.
Then I got a call from her about an hour ago (12:46 am est), she is on her way to the emergency room. She was chilling and shaking really bad and the pain was sever. Said she couldn't take anymore. Again she they don't have a thermometer so she had no idea what her temperature was. At 1:45 am about 10 mins ago, she calls, they are at the hospital. Her temp is 38.5 C = 101.5 F. She couldn't talk long cause it is very expensive to call the USA from Jordan. I will be calling her in a bit to see what else she has found out. Though they think she has a kidney infection. OMG if that is true, that is very bad. Very bad for anyone, but for her it is VERY VERY bad, due to the fact that her bladder is made up mostly from bowel (her bladder is full of e-coli). So if any urine is back flowing into the kidneys she will be very sick.
I will update more later.

Sad & Empty

2007-09-22T02:06:00.000-07:00

We got most of her stuff moved into storage yesterday. A few things came over to our house and what we couldn’t fit into storage, or have room for at our house we just had to leave. Which makes me sad because that stuff is a part of Kelsey. But I can only do so much. Seeing her empty apartment, leaves me even more sad and empty because it’s really becoming a reality that, she isn’t coming home, at least for a very long time.
I weigh in at Jenny Craig today. I have a feeling I have gained. I only got one walk in this week, TOM is here, and I have had a few days of straying off my menu. But next week is a fresh start, I will do better.

Poor Hermit Crab!!!

2007-09-19T23:01:00.000-07:00

I spent most of the day over to Kelsey’s apartment, packing, sorting, and throwing away stuff. Moving day is this Friday. We are moving most of her stuff into storage. We won’t have room for all of it. I have a friend coming to take her sofa. The other stuff that we don’t have room for or we can’t find anyone to take, will be put in the garbage. I have been trying to find a good home for her 4 hermit crabs. I just wish the pet store would take them back. She had 5 crabs; one was in a smaller cage, while the other 4 were in a bigger cage. The one that was separated, had been trying to switch shells, and the others were ganging up on him so she put him in the smaller cage. Well then she went on her trip. I was going over ever day making sure they had food and water. Well I noticed one day that the one in the single cage hadn’t touched his food for 3 days. I didn’t think much about it, because hermit crabs molt, and when they do that, they bury themselves and can stay buried for 6-8 weeks. And normally I would have left him alone, but inside the crab cages were tons and tons of gnats. They had to go!!! So bought new substrate, took the both cages out on the balcony, found the 4 in the bigger cage. I then moved to the smaller cage. I sifted and sifted and sifted and there was no crab!! There was no shell and no body of a crab! O_O I was totally baffled! I sifted and looked again… nothing was found. So I finished up the larger cage with the new clean (gnat free) substrate, put the remaining 4 crabs back. The next time I talked to Kelsey on the phone, she said, “the crab must have gotten out” I said “there was no way, he could have climbed a slick wall and gotten out” I mean there were no vines or anything to climb onto to get out. Anyway a few weeks pass, and I was sorting and packing up the kitchen, and I looked down and just happen to look between the stove and the counter, and I saw this small ice cream cone shaped shell sticking out. I said to myself, “NO WAY!!!!” I got down there, wanted to pull the shell out but was leery; because I was afraid I would see a dead stinky hermit crab inside his shell. But there was nothing. So I took the bottom drawer out of the stove to get a better look under the stove to see if I could find him, again I found nothing. A few days later I was in the bathroom packing and cleaning, I opened up the closet door in the bathroom and on the floor way in the corner I saw something… I got a little closer; sure enough it was the missing naked hermit crab without his shell! I felt so bad that he had to die that way.

How much more?

2007-09-17T23:39:00.001-07:00

My daughter was born with some birth defects involving her bladder and kidney’s. After countless surgeries from birth to age seven, the problems she was born with are some what fixed.
I got a letter from my daughter’s urologist Sept 3rd. It was sent out to all patients who are on intermittent catheterization or who have had a procedure to enlarge their bladder using bowel segments. Well my daughter has both. The letter goes on to say, “we have begun seeing a few cases of cancer developing in patients with bladders like yours, as have doctors at other institutions. It is important to understand, how ever that not all patients will develop cancer. At this time we do not know what caused these cancers to develop, or why they developed in some patients and not others. We understand that this new information about the possibility of cancer might make our patients uncomfortable. We want to reassure you again that we have only seen a few cases of cancer so far, but feel that it is important to watch all of our patients closely.” WHAT? What do you mean CANCER? WHAT else can go wrong? My daughter’s medical condition is very complex; I worry about her being in another country. What if she gets sick? Will the doctors there know what to do? I don’t even know if her medical condition is covered under his medical insurance. I am so worried about her.
I don’t know how much more stress I can take.
As far as my weight, I am pretty much maintaining. But here in the last few days, I just want to eat eat eat. I am so afraid of sliding back into my old habits.

Sinking...

2007-09-06T22:39:00.001-07:00

Well the month of August has been one heck of an emotional rollercoaster ride! I am still on it, but it has slowed down a bit (for now). Let me explain. On Aug 13th my daughter told me she has decided to stay in Jordan where her new husband is, instead of coming home (as planned) on Aug 29th. This makes me very sad, as I know I will not see her for a very long time.
My daughter and I are very close, every thing I do, and every where I go, reminds me of her. We had so much fun together.
I have been very depressed since she left, even more so now since she told me her plans to stay there. This all has hit me like a ton of bricks. I am not sleeping, which makes me even more emotional.
I know, every parent goes through this when their children leave the nest. She has been living out on her own for a little over 2 years now, but now that she is living in another country, it is so much harder.
She has an apartment full of stuff that her dad and I have to pack up and put into storage. That’s real fun. I have to find a home for her hermit crabs. Her 2 birds are here at our house. Her dad said we can’t keep the birds, because they drive him nuts, they drive me nuts too but I don’t think I can just get rid of them, they are her birds. I guess I feel that, that is all I have to hold on too that is tied to her.
That is all for now…

7.3 lbs gone!

2007-08-19T22:46:00.001-07:00

Just a quick update. I had my weight in on Saturday and lost 7.3 lbs! Most of it water weight, but still glad to see it go!

Happy Friday!

2007-08-17T19:53:00.001-07:00

Well I got my water pill filled, and the first day I took it I dropped 5 lbs of water! My legs feel sooo much better.
What a wonderful day it was to go walking! 78 degrees and overcast. A welcome change from the hot and humid weather we have been having.

It's Hot!

2007-08-15T00:09:00.000-07:00

Sorry about the lack of posting lately.
Per my last post my daughter, K had arrived at her destination safely. K and M was married Aug 5th. They took professional pictures but they are not back yet, but she did send me some that were taken with the digital camera. I hardly recognized her! She looked so grown up and beautiful! I absolutely loved her dress! I can’t wait to see the rest of the pictures. She is having a lot of fun, but I sense she is home sick and she misses her birds terribly! I can’t wait for her to come back, I miss her so much! M (her husband) will be joining her here sometime later. I know that sounds and seems odd, but it’s a long and complicated story, so I won’t get into it.
I will be super glad to have her back so the birds can go back to her house! They have been screaming A LOT during the day. I know they miss her but geesh, do they have to have their air raid sirens going off 24/7!!!!!
I also have been going over to her apartment to water and feed her 5 hermit crabs. I told her they were not coming over here!! LOL

I had my weigh in at Jenny Craig this last Saturday. I knew I was going to have huge weight gain, and I did… I gained 6.7 pounds in one week!!!!!!!!! OMG! No no no it's not what you think!It’s because I ran out of my water pills (Triamt/hctz 50/25 mg) about a week and a half ago. My legs hurt so badly from the excess fluid! I went to see my cardiologist yesterday, and got that all taken care of, so I have been running, running, running and RUNNING to the restroom today, which is ok by me!

OMG this heat we have been having is unbearable! Today it was in 95° F with a heat index of 105° F our state fair is currently going right now. I would love to go but not when it’s this hot!
Speaking of the state fair, the Jenny Craig center I go to have these flyers telling how many calories are in some of the more popular items at the fair. Here goes!

Bloomin’ Onion – 2882 calories
Cheesecake on a stick – 655
caloriesDeep fried twinkie – 420 calories
Funnel cake – 800 calories
Jumbo corn dog – 700 calories
Deep fried kind size snickers on a stick – 800 calories
Dippin’ dots candy bar crunch (1/2 cup) – 208 calories
1 Deep fried oreo – 98 calories
Nachos and cheese – 900 calories
Turkey leg – 1400 calories

MY GOODNESS!!! What’s with the deep fried twinkies, oreos and snicker bars! I can’t even imagine how fatty and rich they would be. YUCK!
The only thing that sounds good and that I would want out of any of that is the funnel cake and the corn dog. But that isn’t going to happen, it just isn’t worth it.

Relieved!

2007-08-03T19:56:00.000-07:00

My daughter arrived to her destination at 12:47 am this morning. I was so relieved!!! Plus all of her luggage arrived! I was so worried that they would get lost.
I talk to her briefly when she got to the airport; she was very tired as she didn’t sleep much since she left Wednesday. And I spoke with her today; they had a very busy day, with all the last minute planning for the wedding coming up this Sunday.

As for my weight and exercise for this week. Staying pretty much on track, except for 2 days . My daughter and I went to a great greek restaurant the day before she left, (that was yummy) and hubby and I went out to eat right after we took her to the airport (yummy also)!! Have only gotten 4 of my 5 walks in this week. I weigh in tomorrow afternoon, so I will probably get the last one in before I go weigh in. Have a great weekend!!!

Hardest day of my life

2007-08-01T23:34:00.000-07:00

My daughter left on her trip today. We had so many things to do before going to the airport, it was just crazy! About half way to the airport the flood gates opened up. Of course I am a worrier and all the worst possible case scenarios were running through my head. Of course she was scared and so nervous, but she kept asking me if I was ok and telling me everything will be fine.
We got her all checked in; we went as far with her as the airport would allow us, hugged and said our goodbyes, I just wanted to run after her and tell her “SHE CAN’T GO!!!” I know she is a grown woman and I have to let go and let her fly. But it is just so hard! She will be landing in London shortly before noon then it will be off to her destination.
I so wanted to be at my baby girls wedding. It hurts, it hurts a lot. But what can you do?
With all these stresses I have been fighting the urge not to eat eat eat! I haven’t done much walking or exercising in this week. I will be bird sitting for my daughters 2 cockatiels (Junie and Ipyana) while she is gone for the month. They are missing her already!!!

Overwhelmed...

2007-07-29T14:03:00.000-07:00

I am not good at blogging… I am not good with words… So when I am feeling overwhelmed, worried, stressed and anxious my thougths and feelings run wildly through my head and I can't seem to organize them enough to get them out on paper or on this blog. It becomes one big jumbled and scattered mess. I then get overwhelmed and I tell myself "oh just forget it" and sweep it under the run. But right now I am about to bust, so I am going to do my best. Here goes...
I had mentioned in a previous post that my daughter is getting married in Aug. I am happy for them, but also concerned. I'm not going to get into a lot of details, but let me explain a little bit. She... They... He... Oh gosh, I don't even know where to start… Aug 1st she is going to get on an airplane (for the first time) and she is going to fly to another country, and that is where the wedding will take place. Of course we won’t be able to attend, for one it's in another country, for another we can't afford to go. I will get to see pictures and videos of the wedding. My heart is heavy and broken because I can't be there with my baby girl. I can't really talk a whole lot about it with her dad, because he doesn't support her relationship with this guy.
I got to go… I can’t do this right now. Maybe later.

Out of my comfort zone!

2007-07-18T14:47:00.000-07:00

I weighed in last Saturday and lost 4.3 lbs! I was so happy! Since reaching my goal in April I haven't been exercising all that much, so last week I stepped it up, (it sure paid off). Yesterday it was so hot out, but I went on my walk anyway. Yesterday my daughter and I went to Glazed Expressions. It's where you pick out your pottery and your paints & then once it is done they fire it for you. I thought to myself ok that sounds easy enough!!! So after looking through all their pottery I picked out a tall coffee mug, got my paints and brushes, sat down and just looked at it. I had no idea of what I wanted on it; I went through several books for any kind of ideas. I came across these really cute lady bugs. They had adorable little shoes on and some were holding flowers and some had purses, (so cute). You would think I could sketch those little buggers onto my mug. You wouldn't believe how many times I sketched them out. I had pencil marks and smudges all over my mug. LOL I was so nervous, and I was so afraid I would mess up. The lady at Glazed Expressions told me I was thinking too much, to let go and just paint. so I did. I finally managed to get them on there and painted, but to me it looks awful. We didn't get done, so tonight we are going back to finish up. My daughter picked out a heart shaped box. Hers looks fabulous! I think next time I will be more comfortable with it.
We live on the third floor of our appartment and for the second time in we had a raccoon on our balcony. I thought that to be very strange! Has anyone else experienced the same?

Long over due update!!

2007-07-14T03:54:00.000-07:00

Oh boy, it’s been so long I don’t even know where to begin.
Well… we went on our trip. We had a fantastic time! The scenery was absolutely breath taking. We got a lot of pictures, but pictures can’t do god’s beauty justice!
I mentioned in my last entry that I had another challenge and I never said what it was!!
Well of course it has all to do with FOOD! I was worried I would over eat and or all the wrong stuff and then I would come back to find out I had gained a huge amount of weight! Well, I gained 3 pounds, not as much as I had thought I had. Every since our trip I have been struggling to stay on track!! The last few weeks have been a big challenge; I seem to be very focused on any and all food. It’s slowly getting better. I have been slacking on my exercise as well, so I have been trying to get motivated for that as well. *sigh*. For this week I did get six 30 min walks done! Yayyyyy My daughter has been a big help in getting me out and walking.
She is also trying to slim down and get in shape, as she is getting married in Aug!! WOW, my baby girl is getting married in less than a month!! I am so very happy for them, but sad, because my baby girl is all grown up!
As I stated in previous post, I was very unhappy at the job I was at. I didn’t think the job was for me. So I let go of it and am currently looking for a new job. Haven’t had much luck yet, but I am still looking. I am sure when I start working; my mind will not be on food 24/7!
Sorry it has taken me so long to post any updates, I just have had a lot going on lately.
Leave me a comment sometime, let me know you’re here and how you’re doing!
Got to get to bed its 5:24 am (I haven’t been to bed yet), and I have my weight in at Jenny Craig at 12:30 pm today!!!

Going on a road trip!!

2007-07-14T03:52:00.000-07:00

Wrote this on: Wednesday, May 16th 2007

I have been trying to find a balance in calories since I reached my goal. The first 2 weigh-ins after I reached my goal, I gained just a little bit. This week I stayed the same. Which made me happy, but I have another challenge coming up starting tomorrow. My husband and I are going on vacation for the first time in our 24 years of marriage!!! It’s off to North Carolina tomorrow morning. We will be gone for about a week. His family lives there. We haven’t been back there since we got married there 24 years ago!
Gotta get to bed it is 1:38 am!!

I finally reached my goal!!

2007-04-29T18:45:00.000-07:00

On April 25th I finally reached my goal!! Yayyyy. My JCC moved me to 1700 calories from 1200 calories a day. I expressed to her that I was very nervous about doing this, she said "it will all work out, you'll see" She is easing me into it. 4 days of 1200 calories and 3 days of 1700 calories for 1 week, alternating them. Then 3 days of 1200 calories and 4 days of 1700 calories and so on till I am on 1700 calories everyday.
When I reached my goal, I weighed 129.7 lbs when I weighted myself this morning I was 134 pounds!! I am NOT liking this 1700 calorie thing! 1700 just seems to be too much food! Has anyone else felt this way when they go up in the calories and did you gain weight?

My cat "Tuesday" has been really ill. I noticed she has been drinking alot of water lately and sleeping more than she normally does and not eating. So I took her to the vet on April 13th, blood work was done. The test came back the next day showing she has acute pancreatitis which she has had in the past but this time it is alot worse. And she in the beginning stages of kidney failure. The vetis more worried about her pancreas right now than her kidney's. She was put on an antibiotic and a medicine called denamarin to treat the pancreatitis.
She finished up her antibiotics last night and has about 15 days left of the denamarin. She looks and acts like she is feeling much better. She will need to have her blood checked again in 3-4 month to check the kidney function.
Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

I am still off work due to increasing anxiety. I go back to see my Doctor on May 1st. I don't know if I am going to be able to return to work, or at least that job anyway.

down to a size 10!

2007-04-05T23:02:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah I forgot to mention while I was drowning in my pitty party, that my husband and I went shopping for clothes, cause the shorts and capri's I have are from last year and they are a size 18!!! I am now in a size 10. That makes me happy!I have a question for everyone out there. When you got to your goal or was close to it, did you suddenly just feel like you had lost yourself, like you didn't know who you were mentally anymore? I have been experiencing that alot lately. I should be happy that I am down over a 100 pounds, but something, I am not sure what, is making me uncomfortable. Maybe it just have to do with the depression I am going through right now, or maybe it brought out more of my depression.

Not a good time

2007-04-05T19:00:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the lack of posting. The month of March to present has not been good. Well, it started going down hill when my dad passed away Jan 4th 2007, and I think everything started surfacing in March. I don't believe I have come to terms with my dads death... I don't even know if I can. It's so painful I put my thoughts and feelings to the side and stuff it... numb it out. Then there is my job. I don't even know where to begin. My job has gotten so stressful, it's causing high anxiety on top of already high anxiety. I have been out on short term disability since March 6th. I am on medicine for depression and anxiety, have been for years. Apparently something isn't working. I have had my medicines changed around. Maybe it's the job I am doing, Maybe it's not for me... Hmm... time will tell. Even more great news!! When I weighed in at JC tonight I gained 3.7 pounds. I only worked out 2 times for 30 mins each this last week. So I hope for a better week this next week.

Getting Closer!!

2007-02-28T23:26:00.000-08:00

1.4 pounds closer to my goal!! My size 14 jeans are getting really loose. I can't wait to go out and buy some size 12's. It's been a long long time since I got into size 12!!! I also lost 2 1/2 more inches since the last time I got measured. 67.25 inches lost in total That is just the bust, waist, abdomen and hips.My son still has been running a high fever at night with terrible coughing. He has missed 3 days of work, but had to go back to yesterday whether he had a fever or not. He just started this new job about 3 weeks ago and they don't offer any sick days or health insurance before 90 days. We got through the ice and snow storm last weekend without loosing power. A lot of people are still out of power, and now we are under a blizzard warning from 6 am Thursday to 6 pm Friday.

2007-02-28T23:24:00.000-08:00

Sunday, February 25th 2007

My son's fever hovered around 99 degrees all night cause he was up alternating Motrin and Tylenol. Around 2:30 pm this after noon he started chilling and sure enough he spiked a temp of 103.0
He wanted to go home, today so I reluctantly took him home. I know he will be more comfortable at his house and in his own bed. But I worry about him. I am a big worrier!!
We made it through the ice and snow storm without loosing power. The trees outside and power lines are sure drooping though!!

Snow, Ice & High Fevers!!

2007-02-28T23:20:00.000-08:00

Saturday, February 24th 2007

Well I am sitting here hoping the power does not go off. We have been getting ice pellets, and freezing rain off and on all day and now on top of that heavy snow! 140,000 people in Iowa have already lost power.
I asked for this day off a week ago, good thing too cause I didn't really want to travel home in this weather.
My son has been sick since Thursday night. Sore throat, headache, dizzy, cough, runny nose, achy body. I talked to him last night when I got off work and his temp was 102.5 with Tylenol. He called me today, saying he was worse, that when he coughs he is coughing up green stuff with blood in it. So I braved the ice and took him to the walk in clinic, ended up being a 2 hour wait. His temp was 102.5 when we arrived, shortly after we arrived he started chilling, by the time the doctor came in his fever was up to 104.8!! The doctor said that motrin would work best for bringing down his fever. After she checking him out, she said his chest sounded a bit raspy. She said it probably started out as a virus but he now either has acute bronchitis or the beginning of pneumonia, and since he doesn't have any health insurance she wasn't going to do a lot of test, that she should just treat it regardless of what it is. So she gave him samples of Omnicef. By the time we got back to my house his temp was 105.8!! I was like OMG OMG OMG OMG, we gotta get some motrin in!! We have been rotating the motrin and then the tylenol and his fever is staying way down, thank goodness!!
So far I haven't gotten any exersize in! I just have to get some in! I can't remember if I have mentioned this before or not but I have discovered yoga! I LOVE LOVE LOVE it! It is so relaxing and it truly does give you a good work out.

Not too bad!

2007-02-22T20:46:00.000-08:00

Well I didn't do too bad, considering I didn't get any exercising in last week, I lost 1.4 pounds! I have HAVE to get my workouts in this week.
We have had absolutely beautiful 50 degree weather this past couple of days. This weekend I heard a major snow storm is coming! So we will see what happens!!

Back to work I go!

2007-02-19T22:25:00.000-08:00

I am feeling much better after being sick for almost a week. I went back to work today, I wasn't looking forward to it, but I made it through LOL!Haven't gotten any more exercise in this week either, I can't even imagine what the scales will say at Jenny on Wednesday night.It's back to yoga and cardio with Chris Freytag asap! I actually kinda miss working out! It's funny, I never thought I would say that!Today was unexpectedly pleasant outside. It was sunny it got up to 47 degrees!! Such a welcome change after being in the deep deep freeze for so long! I am beat, heading to bed so I can get up early and EXERCISE! YAYYYYYY

Not 100 lb loss anymore :-(

2007-02-16T22:47:00.000-08:00

Well I have no longer lost 100 pounds . I gained 0.2 lbs. I started to get sick on last Sunday evening Feb 11, 07 scratchy throat, and a headache. Everyday that passed I got worse and more sick. So yesterday I went to see my doctor and I have strep throat and sinus infection. I didn't get all my exercise in last week, so I gained 0.2 lbs . Which is ok, it will eventually come off. I just has to!!

I Made It!!!

2007-02-08T08:43:00.000-08:00

Woo Hoo I did it, it did it!! I have officially lost 100 pounds!!! I can't believe it! It seems like it was only yesterday that I started on this incredible journey. And incredible it has been.
It has been so cold out I can hardly stand it! I will be so glad when the warmer weather comes!!

My Grandpa...

2007-01-13T23:37:00.000-08:00

I wanted to include a poem that my daughter wrote about her grandpa Sept of 2005. It was read at his funeral as a tribute.

"My Grandpa"
A heart as pure as the Man who put it in him,
Always beating so passionatly for life.
"How's the kiddies?" He'd ask
Consistently concerned for the ones that he loved.
His love for pepper blackened food,
Explained the abnormally large holes in his pepper shaker.
His Christmas's unique & special everytime,
Every moment to be treasured.
Hardest working man you'll ever find,
Never missed a day of work.
Honestly, a small town man.
With enough love & humbleness for the world.
Knowing the value of a dollar,
Therefore appreciating his blessings.
But he was our blessing.
In every aspect, a blessing to our lives.
Truly and inspiration!
It is an honor to strive to be like him...
My Grandfather... Charles Lee (Bud) Graham
A phenomenal Man!

KAT
September 2005

It's Been Hard....

2007-01-13T23:33:00.000-08:00

Wrote on Saturday, January 13th 2007

It's been hard after loosing dad, but it is getting better. It's hard to believe that he is gone. I took some time off at work. I go back to work on Jan 19. My work has great working with me during this difficult time.

I had my weigh in last Wednesday. I really expected to have gained because I was off my JC plan while I was out of town. BUT I lost 2.1 pounds. It most likely will catch up with me on my next weigh in. *sigh* but that is ok... I will all come off eventually. It has too, it just isn't welcome anymore.

My hubby's birthday is tomorrow!!! Happy Birthday sweetie! I plan on taking him out for either lunch or supper with the kids. It just depends on the weather. We got a little bit of snow today and tonight we are getting a little bit of freezing drizzle. We are under a freezing rain advisory until 4 am Sunday and a winter storm watch from Sunday afternoon through late Sunday night. Total snow accumulations are suppose to be 5-7 inches.Since I don't work for AAA anymore, I couldn't care less what the weather does!!! Except I don't like the cold weather!

I love you dad

2007-01-13T23:30:00.000-08:00

Wrote on Saturday, January 6th 2007

My dad passed away Thursday Jan 4, 2006. One hour after my 2 kids and I arrived at the nursing home.He is not suffering any longer... He is at peace ...he is home ... I love you dad

Not a good day...

2007-01-13T23:24:00.000-08:00

Wrote on Wednesday, January 3rd 2007

Today has not been a good day. First I learned that my dad isn't doing so well. He has Alzheimer's and is in a nursing home. Hospice has been involved for quite awhile. He has aspirated pneumonia again. I wrote this to "The Sarcastic Journalist" http://shenuts.com/?p=2006 who recently posted about her grandfather who has Alzheimer's as well.

I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face as I read this entry. Because my heart breaks for you and your family AND because our family is going through the same thing with my dad. I haven't dealt with it very well, it is so painful that I guess in a way I have shut down that area in my life. I am the baby of the family, daddy's little girl. My dad, my hero, a man whom I adored and looked up to as I was growing up. My daddy, my daddy, my daddy... How I miss you so... My dad is also in a nursing home. My step mom (bless her heart) kept him home with her as long as she could. It got to a point where he was up at all hours in the night, was becoming very combative with my step mom. He would wonder off. She was exhausted, it was a very hard decision for her to place him in a nursing home. It was especially hard when he was shuffled to nursing home to nursing home, because they couldn't handle him. Each time they moved him he would end up further and further away from her. One place couldn't keep him in his bed at night so they locked him in his room. (Grrrr I know!) He fell, he had black eye and a big cut above his eye. She finally found the perfect place for him. An excellent place just for Alzheimer patients, they got his medication regulated so he wasn't so combative. But since it was a private pay place, the funds ran out very quickly. So since he was stabilized, he was moved closer to my step mom. Was doing great... But his health has declined very fast in the last year. He has aspirated pneumonia several times. I recently learned he has forgotten how to chew and swallow. Backing up a bit in time. I am not really sure when he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's but our family knew something was going on. It seemed to be a hush hush subject, not really talked about.I would hear more about some of the little things going on with dad. Family members would tell me, that he couldn't remember who I was when I was brought up in conversations, at that point I started distancing myself and pulling away. I told myself I wouldn't be able to handle him not knowing who I was. In April of 2001 my grandpa Darrel passed away, so had to face it head on. I was so scared. It was the dinner after the funeral, that it really hit me hard. I was standing right next to my dad, and he didn't even know who I was. He would look right at me, and talk to me like I a friend of the family attending the funeral. I was crushed. I wanted to run. After that I would avoided going down to see them, they live about 90 mins from where we live so it was easy. My family would try to convince me to go see him, I would make excuses for not being able to go. Inside my head would be shake my head saying no no no no, I can't do it.I think my family knew I was avoiding. Then Labor Day 2001 we were going over to my mom's house for a big Labor Day picnic. As my husband, kids and I arrived at my mom's house, I saw that my dad and my step mom were there, I immediately panicked. I told my husband I can't do it, I wanted to keep driving and go home. Of course we didn't. We had a nice barbeque dinner, everyone was happy, smiling, laughing and having a good time. Again I would talk to my dad and I was a stranger to him. Just someone there visiting. As the day wound down and it was time for everyone to go home, my dad hugged me, I held on tight... I told him I loved him, he told me he loved me and they left. That was the last time I have talked to him as my dad. Since then, I have see him at the nursing home a few times. His speech broken. The last time I seen him was at grandma Opal passed away May of 2006. He was in his bed at the nursing home, once again had aspirated pneumonia, he was very sick. He did recover from that fairly quick. Then just about a week and a half ago maybe 2 weeks ago, I was told he had aspirated pneumonia again, got better from that, a short time after that I was told he has forgotten how to chew and swallow. So now he is on puréed food and was told once he can't get that down, my step mom has decided not to put a feeding tube in. Hospice has been called in.
My dad is 74

I have no days off at work. I talked to my manager a few weeks back when dad was sick and he said my only option is when he passes away I can get bereavement leave. I am going to call and talk to HR tomorrow to see if there is any other options.
On the weight loss front, I gained 1.5 lbs I gotta get to bed, I am beat.

95.3 lbs Down 13.9 lbs To Go!!

2006-12-27T21:01:00.000-08:00

Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday! Ours was fabulous.
Although I was saddened to find out that one of our team managers from work was killed in a car accident on Christmas day. A very sad sad day. My heart goes out to her family and friends. It's really makes you stop and think, cause you just never know when your time on this earth will be over.
As for my weight loss for last week, I lost 0.5 lbs and as for this week I am down 3.6 pounds! Woo hoo!! Only 13.9 more pounds till I reach my goal! In total I have lost 95.3 pounds!!!
I was looking up my BMI. And for me being 5' 2" at 143.9 lbs my magic number is 26. Although I am still in the Overweight range, once I hit 24 I will finally be in the healthy weight range! A place I haven't been in a super long time!!

150's!!!

2006-09-16T08:46:00.000-07:00

I weighed in yesterday. I lost another 2.1 pounds!! Woo HooI NEVER thought I would see the 150's ever again!!!! Woo Hoo
Wow only 29.4 to go until I reach my goal! I went shopping the other day cause my jeans were getting just too big. I am now in a size 13-14 (stretch jeans of course) But, I was in a size 24 stretch jean!!! I did post new pictures!
http://krazyfrazzledmom.tripod.com/id16.html

Please visit my main page sometime.
http://nyissa64.bravejournal.com/

Beginning 41st Week

2006-08-23T23:30:00.000-07:00

Total weight loss for Aug 2006 is 6.2 pounds (so far) Woo Hoo
Total inches lost since Nov 2005 - 48.75
Total pounds lost since Nov 2005 - 73.9

40th Week

2006-08-18T08:16:00.000-07:00

Current weight 169.2 Total lost 70 pounds Since Nov 15, 2005

2006-07-30T15:27:00.000-07:00

Well I had my 37th weigh in on 7/26/06 at Jenny Craig. For this last week I didn't loose anything, better than gaining! This was also my time to measure again. I have lost another 12.5 inches since my last measurements 4 weeks ago!!! I was shocked!The numbers in red are my very first measurements taken Nov 15, 2005. Numbers in blue are last nights measurements, numbers in green is the total of inches lost for that area.

Bust 48 - 39 = 9
Waist 49.5 - 34 = 15.5
Abdomen 56.25 - 45.5 = 10.75
Hips 56 - 44.5 = 11.5

Total Inches Lost 46.75

Gotta get ready for work!

I don't post here regularly. Come see me at my main site at
http://nyissa64.bravejournal.com/
See my weight loss photos at
http://krazyfrazzledmom.tripod.com/id16.html or http://www.flickr.com/photos/krazyfrazzledmom/sets/72057594074420546/

My Main Blog...

2006-06-25T17:38:00.000-07:00

Hi,
I don't post here very often. My main page is at http://nyissa64.bravejournal.com/ come see me!!!

Blew into the 170's!!!

2006-06-21T23:46:00.000-07:00

Today was my 31st weigh in at Jenny Craig. I lost another 5.7 lbs! Total lost since Nov 2005 - 63.2 lbs
Total lost for June 2006 - 8.0 lbs

Half Way There!

2006-05-28T16:00:00.000-07:00

Yayyy I have made it to my half way goal!!I have lost 55.4 lbs since I started Jenny Craig Nov, 2005!! Only 58.8 pounds to go!!!

Here are my monthly losses:
Nov 2005 - 8.5 Pounds
Dec 2005 - 9.5 Pounds
Jan 2006 - 7.8 Pounds
Feb 2006 - 6.3 Pounds
Mar 2006 - 4.9 Pounds
Apr 2006 - 7.9 Pounds
May 2006 - 10.5 Pounds as of May 25th,06

Woo Hoo

2006-05-04T07:04:00.000-07:00

I weighed in at Jenny Craig last night and lost 6.4 lbs last week! I was very suprised since I didn't get all my walking in. Only 2.9 more pounds to go till I reach my halfway goal!

Then & Now

2006-05-02T12:08:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I End My 24th Week With Jenny!

2006-05-02T12:03:00.000-07:00

Start Date: 11/15/05
SW: 239.2 lbs
Age: 41 Yrs 5'2

Week 1 - 233.2 - 6 lb loss
Week 2 - 230.7 - 2.5 lb loss
Week 3 - 230.8 - 0.2 lb gain :-(
Week 4 - 224.3 - 6.5 lb loss
Week 5 - 222.3 - 2 lb loss
Week 6 - 221.2 - 1.1 lb loss
Week 7 - 220.2 - 1 lb loss
Week 8 - 218.0 - 2.2 lb loss
Week 9 - 215.4 - 2.6 lb loss
Week 10 - 215.3 - 0.1 lb loss
Week 11 - 213.4 - 1.9 lb loss
Week 12 - 210.2 - 3.2 lb loss
Week 13 - 207.2 - 3 lb loss
Week 14 - 208.3 - 1.1 lb gain
Week 15 - 207.1 - 1.2 lb loss
Week 16 - 205.3 - 1.8 lb loss
Week 17 - 202.8 - 2.5 lb loss
Week 18 - 202.3 - 0.5 lb loss
Week 19 - 200.2 - 2.1 lbloss
Week 20 - 197.4 - 2.8 lb loss
Week 21 - 197.0 - 0.4 lb loss
Week 22 - 191.5 - 5.3 lb loss
Week 23 - 194.3 - 2.6 lb gain :-(

Total 47.5 Pounds Loss
Total Inches Lost - 26.75 as of 04-04-06 (20 Wk Measurements)
GW 130

Come see my at my main site...

http://nyissa64.bravejournal.com/

Welcome!!

2006-02-16T19:49:00.001-08:00

I have moved my site over to bravenet, come see me there at:

http://nyissa64.bravejournal.com/