Sad & Empty

We got most of her stuff moved into storage yesterday. A few things came over to our house and what we couldn’t fit into storage, or have room for at our house we just had to leave. Which makes me sad because that stuff is a part of Kelsey. But I can only do so much. Seeing her empty apartment, leaves me even more sad and empty because it’s really becoming a reality that, she isn’t coming home, at least for a very long time.
I weigh in at Jenny Craig today. I have a feeling I have gained. I only got one walk in this week, TOM is here, and I have had a few days of straying off my menu. But next week is a fresh start, I will do better.

Poor Hermit Crab!!!

I spent most of the day over to Kelsey’s apartment, packing, sorting, and throwing away stuff. Moving day is this Friday. We are moving most of her stuff into storage. We won’t have room for all of it. I have a friend coming to take her sofa. The other stuff that we don’t have room for or we can’t find anyone to take, will be put in the garbage. I have been trying to find a good home for her 4 hermit crabs. I just wish the pet store would take them back. She had 5 crabs; one was in a smaller cage, while the other 4 were in a bigger cage. The one that was separated, had been trying to switch shells, and the others were ganging up on him so she put him in the smaller cage. Well then she went on her trip. I was going over ever day making sure they had food and water. Well I noticed one day that the one in the single cage hadn’t touched his food for 3 days. I didn’t think much about it, because hermit crabs molt, and when they do that, they bury themselves and can stay buried for 6-8 weeks. And normally I would have left him alone, but inside the crab cages were tons and tons of gnats. They had to go!!! So bought new substrate, took the both cages out on the balcony, found the 4 in the bigger cage. I then moved to the smaller cage. I sifted and sifted and sifted and there was no crab!! There was no shell and no body of a crab! O_O I was totally baffled! I sifted and looked again… nothing was found. So I finished up the larger cage with the new clean (gnat free) substrate, put the remaining 4 crabs back. The next time I talked to Kelsey on the phone, she said, “the crab must have gotten out” I said “there was no way, he could have climbed a slick wall and gotten out” I mean there were no vines or anything to climb onto to get out. Anyway a few weeks pass, and I was sorting and packing up the kitchen, and I looked down and just happen to look between the stove and the counter, and I saw this small ice cream cone shaped shell sticking out. I said to myself, “NO WAY!!!!” I got down there, wanted to pull the shell out but was leery; because I was afraid I would see a dead stinky hermit crab inside his shell. But there was nothing. So I took the bottom drawer out of the stove to get a better look under the stove to see if I could find him, again I found nothing. A few days later I was in the bathroom packing and cleaning, I opened up the closet door in the bathroom and on the floor way in the corner I saw something… I got a little closer; sure enough it was the missing naked hermit crab without his shell! I felt so bad that he had to die that way.

How much more?

My daughter was born with some birth defects involving her bladder and kidney’s. After countless surgeries from birth to age seven, the problems she was born with are some what fixed.
I got a letter from my daughter’s urologist Sept 3rd. It was sent out to all patients who are on intermittent catheterization or who have had a procedure to enlarge their bladder using bowel segments. Well my daughter has both. The letter goes on to say, “we have begun seeing a few cases of cancer developing in patients with bladders like yours, as have doctors at other institutions. It is important to understand, how ever that not all patients will develop cancer. At this time we do not know what caused these cancers to develop, or why they developed in some patients and not others. We understand that this new information about the possibility of cancer might make our patients uncomfortable. We want to reassure you again that we have only seen a few cases of cancer so far, but feel that it is important to watch all of our patients closely.” WHAT? What do you mean CANCER? WHAT else can go wrong? My daughter’s medical condition is very complex; I worry about her being in another country. What if she gets sick? Will the doctors there know what to do? I don’t even know if her medical condition is covered under his medical insurance. I am so worried about her.
I don’t know how much more stress I can take.
As far as my weight, I am pretty much maintaining. But here in the last few days, I just want to eat eat eat. I am so afraid of sliding back into my old habits.

Sinking...

Well the month of August has been one heck of an emotional rollercoaster ride! I am still on it, but it has slowed down a bit (for now). Let me explain. On Aug 13th my daughter told me she has decided to stay in Jordan where her new husband is, instead of coming home (as planned) on Aug 29th. This makes me very sad, as I know I will not see her for a very long time.
My daughter and I are very close, every thing I do, and every where I go, reminds me of her. We had so much fun together.
I have been very depressed since she left, even more so now since she told me her plans to stay there. This all has hit me like a ton of bricks. I am not sleeping, which makes me even more emotional.
I know, every parent goes through this when their children leave the nest. She has been living out on her own for a little over 2 years now, but now that she is living in another country, it is so much harder.
She has an apartment full of stuff that her dad and I have to pack up and put into storage. That’s real fun. I have to find a home for her hermit crabs. Her 2 birds are here at our house. Her dad said we can’t keep the birds, because they drive him nuts, they drive me nuts too but I don’t think I can just get rid of them, they are her birds. I guess I feel that, that is all I have to hold on too that is tied to her.
That is all for now…